BREATHTAKING NEWS!!!

It's official, Plaz B is the new king of masturbation. In a stunning feat of endurance and determination, Plaz B achieved 36 orgasms in a 24 hour period!

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Sleeping intermittently during the 24 hour marathon, Plaz B remained focused and aroused by his impressive library of pornographic films. With over 400 films in his library and 3 televisions playing movies at all times, he had a continuous stream of footage to aid him in his quest.

It is apparent by the massive development of the muscles in his forearm that BP is not your average masturbator. In an interview with Jabroni Times reporters after the record setting event, BP was quoted as saying, "masturbation for me is a way of life. I've been training for this day since I was 13 years old and I'm happy with my performance today".

This record was formerly held by Airdrie resident, Pinz who achieved 27 orgasms in a 24 hour period. Mr. Pinz was not available for comment.

When asked what his next world record achievement would be, BP said "my immediate goal is to get a bag of ice and some lotion on my penis to soothe the burning".

Pincup Classic Results

One might wonder why it took so long to post the results from the finest September event held in Northern Alberta. The truth is, it has taken almost this long to recover from the tournament and it's soul crushing toll.

RESULTS

GOLF RESULTS

After the golf, a few thing were immediately apparent.

(1) The golf team of Ivan, Trent, Mike N and Mike M must never be partnered again, in fairness to the established rules of etiquette.
(2) The uncircumsised penis is still very unattractive at first glance.

STANDINGS AFTER GOLF
CVO
Brandon
Jay V
John
Jay B
Derilique
Fleets
Plaizier B
Massing
Big Dave
Ben King
Pinner
Brent W
Nichol
Ivan
TKO Simpson

CENTURION
Next up, after the golf which proved disastrous for many was the Centurion/Sports Trivia event. The questions ranged from the ludicrously easy to the insanely difficult but as evidenced, the cream definitely rose to the top.....

STANDINGS AFTER CENTURION/TRIVIA
CVO
Jay B
Fleets
Plaizier B
Jay V
John
Brandon
Ben King
Nichol
Derilique
Massing
TKO Simpson
Pinner
Brent W
Big Dave
Ivan

POKER
Poker was the very definition of clusterfuck with many of the participants bowing out due to the effects of the Centurion. Only a few remained steadfast and held on to their pregame strategy. This is truly where the men were seperated from the boys, and where some men need other men to stack their chips for them so that same man could berate the other players mercilessly while pouring drinks on his shirt.

FINAL STANDINGS
Jay B
Brandon
Brent W
Nichol
Pinner
Ivan
John
Massing
CVO
Big Dave
Fleets
Plaizier B
Jay V
Ben King
Derilique
TKO Simpson

There you have it, the pinnacle of human accomplishment has been awarded.



Stay tuned for next year when homoerotic man wrestling will be added as an exhibition event.